Southern Fried Fatty

Because I Have to Post Something….

southernfriedfatty — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 02:18:23 +0000

As predicted I am having a difficult time blogging. It’s hard to get a motivated when I am doing something only for my benefit. To be honest, most of what occupies my mind is probably unfit for public consumption. Not because it is pornographic (well, not all of it), but because most would think that I am either getting ready to find Jesus or jump off a cliff. I am in no danger of doing either one.

Random thoughts for the week:

I am disgusted by strip malls and the construction of new strip malls. However, part of what drives the business I am in is new construction. I live is a suburb of Birmingham that pretty much only consists of strip malls and the largest mall in the state. I’m surrounded by the shit every day. I pay my bills with the money I make because this shit keeps getting built. I was also excited that a new Target was built less than a mile from my house. I am happy and disgusted at the same time. I am a complicated woman.

Somewhat related to the above thought is that I am also disgusted by all of the stupid stuff that is out there to buy. All of the strip malls are filled with stupid shit that no one needs. For some reason home decor stuff really gets on my nerves. Why the fuck would you want to spend money on crap made of poly resin? I’m not immune to the call of cheap fake decor. I went to Hobby Lobby this weekend and really wanted to buy a lot of stupid, cheap crap. But it was pretty, stupid, cheap crap. made of poly resin.

As much as I hate people wasting money and buying stupid shit, I bought a hundred dollar toothbrush this weekend. It’s da bomb.

What I would really like to do on this blog is to examine, in full detail, the Federal Budget. I want to go through it line by line and decide what we can and cannot live without. This would require a level of concentration I’m afraid I am simply not capable of. I have considered having a weekly meeting with a few friends to discuss the budget. A Think Tank if you will. with wine. We have tried something similar before when my husband and his brother decided they wanted to make a movie. We met on Wednesday nights and called it “Film Club.” It didn’t take long for it to become “Everyone Drink One Bottle of Wine Each and See Who Can Talk the Loudest Club”.

I really just can’t give up the name Southern Fried Fatty…

southernfriedfatty — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 04:26:36 +0000

I think it’s pretty good name.

There are lots of things that keep me from blogging. Laziness, lack of imagination, paranoia. I don’t do much but what I do I like to do right. This blog started a few years ago as a way to chronicle my weight loss efforts. After a few months I realized that I really hate talking about losing weight. For the past year or two I have been wanting to make Southern Fried Fatty more about politics or sports or something else besides being fat. So this is the beginning of the new SFF. I have basically deleted all of my previous weight loss posts. I will probably regret that because I have written some pretty funny shit.

Don’t expect much at first because it will take a while for me to get in the groove of writing something substantial. I spend 8-10 hours everyday thinking and worrying about things that I get paid to think and worry about. When I get home I really don’t want to think or worry with anything challenging. My job isn’t too complicated but it can be stressful and not the least bit interesting to anyone. I guess most everyone’s job falls into that category though.

I call myself a Liberal but I’m pretty wishy-washy so who knows what I will feel like from one day to the next. I’m paranoid about my spelling and punctuation so that keeps me from writing. SO what I post here won’t be perfect but I hope it will be entertaining and sometimes thought-provoking. My next post will be either about the Federal Budget or the best moisturizer to use on cracked heels.

Also, let me just say that I truly believe that there is not one original thought or idea left to be had in this world. That keeps me from writing as well. What are the chances that I would have something to say that everyone has not already heard a thousand times before?

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer and Beer

southernfriedfatty — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:17:31 +0000

Well, I’ve been on Weight Watchers for three weeks now and I have lost a total of 8.5lbs. Yea me!! Not too shabby considering during that time it was Thanksgiving and I also went to Mobile and ate too much seafood. It has also been football season which means that I have been drinking a lot of beer (thank goodness for MGD 64 and my 35 weekly flex points). Beer and football go together like Mom and apple pie in my book. I’ve discovered that there is a direct correlation between the amount of beer I drink and how well Alabama is doing. The Auburn game was quite stressful, therefore I drank more beer. The Florida game ended up being not quite as stressful, therefore I did not drink as much. I was fully expecting the Florida game to be a lot more stressful so I decided to allot myself a certain number of beers per quarter. Three beers per quarter to be exact. Around the end of the second half I began to panic because it occurred to me that I didn’t account for a possible overtime situation. Since I only bought a twelve pack that was going to be a problem. Thankfully the Crimson Tide had my back and kicked the crap out of Florida and never looked back. ROLLLLL TIDE ROLLLL!!! Look out Texas!

So since I am doing WW online, I record all of my points on my online account. After reviewing the entries of the past few weeks it has occurred to me that I have recorded a large amount of beer (see previous paragraph). It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the invisible online WW Master sends me a message and asks if I have considered AA. But I have come up with a diabolical plan….Instead of recording my beer points as “beer”, I will from now on label it as “Kashi Pilaf”. Don’t worry about me WW Master… I’m not drinking too much beer, I’m getting a bunch of wholesome Kashi fiber.

WORTH EVERY PENNY

The Other Woman

southernfriedfatty — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:13:11 +0000

So I get up the other morning and head over to the scale. I have one of those scales kind of like they have at the Doctor’s office:

mine is shorter than this one tough

Now, the scale is usually already set at either my weight (around 225-230) or my husband’s weight (around 290-295). This particular morning it wasn’t set at either one. It was set at 210. “I wonder why?”, I thought to myself. There is really only one clear explanation…FatHubby must be cheating on me!

The only other explanation would be that I the past months of my life have been a horrible nightmare in which I have dreamed that I weigh 15-20 lbs more than I actually do and I really weigh 210. This is highly unlikely. So of course FatHubby has found another woman. Other people might be devastated by this news but I’m going to look at the positive:

1. If she feels the need to weigh while she is visiting her man to get her groove on, then she is just as insecure as I am.

2. She could weigh 110 instead of 210 and that would be a harsher blow to my ego.

3. He’s probably not helping her with her laundry either.