All I Need is an Audience

I haven’t posted anything in four years but today I got a notification that I have a new follower. Hey Keith! Hope you are doing well. Maybe I’ll start posting things just for your entertainment. You might be one of the only people on the planet that appreciates my sense of humor. ūüėä I’m coming by the house on Friday evening so stop by and visit if you can. 


Leave a comment

Filed under SFF

Because I Have to Post Something….

As predicted I am having a difficult time blogging.¬† It’s hard to get a motivated when I am doing something only for my benefit.¬† To be honest, most of what occupies my mind is probably unfit for public consumption.¬† Not because it is pornographic¬† (well, not all of it), but because most would think that I am either getting ready to find Jesus or jump off a cliff.¬† I am in no danger of doing either one.

Random thoughts for the week:

I am disgusted by strip malls and the construction of new strip malls.¬† However, part of what drives the business I am in is new construction.¬† I live is a suburb of Birmingham that pretty much only consists of strip malls and the largest mall in the state.¬† I’m surrounded by the shit every day.¬† I pay my bills with the money I make because this shit keeps getting built.¬† I was also excited that a new Target was built less than a mile from my house.¬† I am happy and disgusted at the same time.¬† I am a complicated woman.

Somewhat related to the above thought is that I am also disgusted by all of the stupid stuff that is out there to buy.¬† All of the strip malls are filled with stupid shit that no one needs.¬† For some reason home decor stuff really gets on my nerves.¬† Why the fuck would you want to spend money on crap made of poly resin?¬† I’m not immune to the call of cheap fake decor.¬† I went to Hobby Lobby this weekend and really wanted to buy a lot of stupid, cheap crap.¬† But it was pretty, stupid, cheap crap.¬† made of poly resin.

As much as I hate people wasting money and buying stupid shit, I bought a hundred dollar toothbrush this weekend.¬† It’s da bomb.

What I would really like to do on this blog is to examine, in full detail, the Federal Budget.¬† I want to go through it line by line and decide what we can and cannot live without.¬† This would require a level of concentration I’m afraid I am simply not capable of.¬† I have considered having a weekly meeting with a few friends to discuss the budget.¬† A Think Tank if you will.¬† with wine.¬† We have tried something similar before when my husband and his brother decided they wanted to make a movie.¬† We met on Wednesday nights and called it “Film Club.”¬† It didn’t take long for it to become “Everyone Drink One Bottle of Wine Each and See Who Can Talk the Loudest Club”.

1 Comment

Filed under Federal Budget, materialism

I really just can’t give up the name Southern Fried Fatty…

I think it’s pretty good name.

There are lots of things that keep me from blogging.¬† Laziness, lack of imagination, paranoia.¬† I don’t do much but what I do I like to do right.¬† This blog started a few years ago as a way to chronicle my weight loss efforts.¬† After a few months I realized that I really hate talking about losing weight.¬† For the past year or two I have been wanting to make Southern Fried Fatty more about politics or sports or something else besides being fat.¬† So this is¬† the beginning of the new SFF. I have basically deleted all of my previous weight loss posts.¬† I will probably regret that because I have written some pretty funny shit.

Don’t expect much at first because it will take a while for me to get in the groove of writing something substantial.¬† I spend 8-10 hours everyday thinking and worrying about things that I get paid to think and worry about.¬† When I get home I really don’t want to think or worry with anything challenging.¬† My job isn’t too complicated but it can be stressful and not the least bit interesting to anyone.¬† I guess most everyone’s job falls into that category though.

I call myself a Liberal but I’m pretty wishy-washy so who knows what I will feel like from one day to the next.¬† I’m paranoid about my spelling and punctuation so that keeps me from writing.¬† SO what I post here won’t be perfect but I hope it will be entertaining and sometimes thought-provoking.¬† My next post will be either about the Federal Budget or the best moisturizer to use on cracked heels.

Also, let me just say that I truly believe that there is not one original thought or idea left to be had in this world.  That keeps me from writing as well.  What are the chances that I would have something to say that everyone has not already heard a thousand times before?

Leave a comment

Filed under politics

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer and Beer

Well, I’ve been on Weight Watchers for three weeks now and I have lost a total of 8.5lbs.¬† Yea me!! Not too shabby considering during that time it was Thanksgiving and I also went to Mobile and ate too much seafood.¬† It has also been football season which means that I have been drinking a lot of beer (thank goodness for MGD 64 and my 35 weekly flex points).¬† Beer and football go together like Mom and apple pie in my book.¬† I’ve discovered that there is a direct correlation between the amount of beer I drink and how well Alabama is doing.¬† The Auburn game was quite stressful, therefore I drank more beer.¬† The Florida game ended up being not quite as stressful, therefore I did not drink as much.¬† I was fully expecting the Florida game to be a lot more stressful so I decided to allot myself a certain number of beers per quarter.¬† Three beers per quarter to be exact.¬† Around the end of the second half I began to panic because it occurred to me that I didn’t account for a possible overtime situation.¬† Since I only bought a twelve pack that was going to be a problem.¬† Thankfully the Crimson Tide had my back and kicked the crap out of Florida and never looked back.¬† ROLLLLL TIDE ROLLLL!!!¬† Look out Texas!

So since I am doing WW online, I record all of my points on my online account.¬† After reviewing the entries of the past few weeks it has occurred to me that I have recorded a large amount of beer (see previous paragraph).¬† It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the invisible online WW Master sends me a message and asks if I have considered AA.¬† But I have come up with a diabolical plan….Instead of recording my beer points as “beer”, I will from now on label it as “Kashi Pilaf”.¬† Don’t worry about me WW Master… I’m not drinking too much beer, I’m getting a bunch of wholesome Kashi fiber.


Leave a comment

Filed under SFF

Put me in Coach, I’m Ready to Play!

According to the Think Thin Book (otherwise known as the Beck Diet Solution Bible) it is now time to enlist the help of a DIET COACH. Why?? Dr. Beck writes the following:

Few people who have struggled with dieting can lose weight and sustain that weight loss without the help and encouragement from another person.

A lot of us like to keep our weight loss efforts to ourselves. I know in the past I have not publicized being on a diet because if I failed, I might have to explain to someone why I am such a loser (or non-loser to be exact.) In reality a DIET COACH can provide support in situtations when will power is simply not enough. Dr. Beck writes that they can keep you motivated, build your self-confidence, help you solve problems, keep you accountable and help you take a more useful perspective.

I considered lots of people before choosing my DIET COACH. I thought about this guy:


But he is too busy answering prayers to be bothered with my problems. Anyway, can you imagine what one of my “coaching” sessions would sound like? The conversation would probably sound something like this:

SFF: Coach Bryant, my self esteem has been damaged by my lack of will power. What do you suggest I do?

BEAR: Rub some dirt on it.

SFF: Umm, OK. You know, late at night these very powerful cravings come into my house and take over my self control. Any advice?

BEAR: You show those cravings NO ONE and I mean NO ONE comes in our house and makes fools of us! Now get out there and act like you’ve been there before!

SFF: Wow thanks! I’m number one, I’m number one!!

I then march out of the room chanting and the Bear pats me on the butt.

In reality it would help if I pick a DIET COACH that is alive. Dr. Beck has a few good suggestions for finding the right DIET COACH:

  • Pick a close friend or family member. You could even get them to start The Beck Diet Solution with you
  • Join an organized group. Probably something like Weight Watchers, TOPS, or even Overeaters Anonymous. You could even start your own support group at your office, church or gym
  • Seek support from a professional, such as a nutritionist, pshychiatrist or therapist
  • Seek internet support. Most of the big weight loss programs offer some sort of on-line support or membership. Fatblogging is an option

I’ve decided to combine two of the options. Since beginning my blog I’ve been really surprised and pleased with all the support and comments I’ve received from complete strangers going through the same thing I am. At first, I wasn’t going to tell anyone but FatHubby what I was doing, but then I was becoming quite proud of my little blog here and decided to share it with my friends, family and coworkers. That means I had to expose them to this. The response from people I know has been great! It has motivated me to keep after my goal. Since people I know have been commenting on the blog and asking me in real life how my plan is going, my DIET COACH’S are the online community and my friends and family. In case I need some “one on one” coaching, I am picking FatHubby. He is pretty tough, understanding and convenient.:-)

The Bear did leave something that will help me in the weight loss game:

“If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.”

Bear Bryant


And to all of you that could not care less about football, thanks for indulging me.


Filed under SFF